Two Fake Friends

Isn’t it funny the moment you realize someone you thought was your friend isn’t?

Not funny as in: that was a great joke…..hahaha

But funny as in: that was a kick in my ass I didn’t foresee.

 

Fake Friend #1

Female

Former Co-worker

Fucked around on her fiance (now her hubby)

I should have known when I was being used as an alibi so she could fuck around, that I was not a friend.

 

Fake Friend #2

Male

Former High School friend

Wanted to fuck around on his wife.

I should have known when he tried to stick his tongue in my mouth, that I was not a friend.

 

Fake friends need not apply.

With friends like these two, who needs enemies?

I have enough enemies.

 

I find it ironic that these two people who were once such close friends, now avoid me because of their own secrets.   Never once have I mentioned or even hinted about their secrets in my blog.

Until now.

~P.

 

 

 

 

 

Whos Shoes

When I picked up Tesla Friday at 5 pm, I had to beg John to talk sense into Heather who was refusing to let Tesla wear her sneakers for the weekend.

Why do I have to beg for Tesla to be allowed to wear her sneakers?  Why does Heather have to stand outside my house yelling at me to buy Tesla sneakers if I want her to wear sneakers?

Hey Heather, buy your own fucking house if you want one and get the hell out of mine!

Aren’t Tesla’s shoes, her shoes….or does Heather wear them on the weekends Tesla is with me?

John finally told Heather to let Tesla have her sneakers.  Since when is he the sensible one?

Heather is just John’s bitch…in so many ways.  It’s not like I have to actually write it for people to know this.  By her own actions she shows me, her own children and Tesla what a big, dramatic, bitch she is with all her assholery.

I asked many questions in this blog.  I don’t expect answers.

One, Two….buckle Tesla’s shoe.

~P.

No abuse

The concern I had for the bruising on Tesla’s arms was genuine.  I asked her father what the bruises were from and he never answered.  That made me even more concerned.

I took the advice of a friend and went to Tesla’s school.  The nurse made a few notes and the following day (today) Child Services called and said they were going to talk to Tesla at school.

They called me back today to assure me that they don’t believe Tesla is being abused and Tesla said that her daddy took her to the doctor yesterday afternoon to have her arms checked and they were fine.

WTF!?  I ask and ask about Tesla’s bruises but get no answer.  Suddenly the school agrees there coud be some abuse going on and John rockets Tesla to the doctor’s office (without informing me as the custody order states) to “prove” Tesla is not being abused.

I should have known he would only be out to cover his ass.  I wasn’t looking to prove that “anyone” was abusing Tesla, I just wanted answers. 

The race to have a doctor declare Tesla’s bruised arms as a case of a rough-house girl makes me suspicious.  Her doctor said I am welcome to call and talk to him anytime about Tesla’s appointments, whether John informed me of the appointment or not.

Doc says at this point he doesn’t believe anyone is grabbing up Tesla, and that is a relief.

I just hope they are all correct. 

~P.

I’m not dead and neither are you!

I wake up every morning because I’m not dead.  That’s what everyone does, so I’m not special.  I feel special though.  Everyone should feel special now and then.  It is good for the soul.

Alright, if you are reading this, you are not dead either.  So let’s talk about this thing we all have to deal with: life.  Life has its up and downs depending on how much money you have.  Oops, that’s not right.  Life has its up and downs no matter who you are or think you are.  I’ve had people get in my face (or witnessed people in others faces) screaming, “Do you know who the fuck I am?”  Usually they repeat the same line a few times to make their point.  I’ve found that usually the person doing the yelling knows I know who they are.  Perfect strangers don’t walk up and begin screaming in my face, “Do you know who the fuck I am?”  Therefore the question really is pointless.  Of course I know who you are, but if I ain’t fucking you or feeding you I don’t give a shit.

So this life thing is a relatively short period of time.  Some people accomplish great things during their life while others don’t amount to Jack Squat.  If you don’t know who Jack Squat is, you probably shouldn’t be reading this.  In my short 41 years on this planet, I’ve done quite a bit.  Two marriages, one divorce, three children, two careers and now attending college to make my work something I love to do, write!  Attending college as an adult is incredibly rewarding, even more rewarding than attending as a teenager.  As an adult, I never attend classes with a hangover.

Is 2012 the last year anyone gets to graduate from college?  Think of all the consumer goods that have already been printed with dates past December 21, 2012.  All the coffee cups printed with The Class of 2013 will never be drank from, the celebratory grad t-shirts never worn.  I wouldn’t want to graduate in 2013 anyway, because thirteen is an unlucky number.

I’m ready!  I’m ready! I’m ready for the end of the world.  There really is not anywhere I would rather be than with my creator.  While I cherish and love my family and friends here on earth, I know even after my death, I will have the opportunity to see them again.  Being that we are all saved and not going to hell, that is.  I’m saved and have no fear of dying, unless it is a long, drawn out, painful death.  God bless those martyrs through-out time.  I don’t know if I could have burned on a stake while singing hymns of praise, unless God interprets screaming in agony as praise.  On the other hand, if I had been Cassie Bernall, I would have said, “Yes” also, even with a gun pointed at my head, knowing this individual would most likely take my life.  (Columbine High School)  People die every day by natural causes, accidents, illness etc. but you don’t get many people dying in the name of God.

The Romans persecution of early Christians is how martyrs came about.  Cassie Bernall is a modern-day martyr and if someone would ever hold a gun to my head and ask if I believe in God, I firmly believe I would answer “yes” knowing that mostly likely, I would not wake be waking up the next day.

What would your answer be?

~P.

Grab Marks

Example of bruising from being “grabbed up”

I went online to search for images of bruising from being grabbed up by the arm.  This is a picture from the Maine educational site for detecting and preventing child abuse.

These pictures are my daughters arms.

Right

Left

The last I saw Tesla was Mother’s Day Sunday.  On the 15th (Tuesday) I began asking to see Tesla and take her to the May Fair on Saturday.  I didn’t see Tesla for a week and finally on Sunday John said I could have her in the afternoon.  I did not expect to see her arms all bruised up and when I call or text John, he ignores me.  I believe someone is grabbing up my child and if John isn’t concerned, maybe there is a reason.

Frustrating!

~P.

Simple Sunday

BIG enough for ya?

I like big pumpkins, I can not lie.

Cook them up and make a pie.

Tesla and I made up this little ditty to the tune of Sir Mix-A-Lots song ”Big Butts.” She said Heather got mad when she sang it.  I asked her where she heard it and she said Bria played it for her.  I guess Bria wasn’t supposed to have it….

Maybe Tesla can teach Bria our new version and they will be allowed to sing that instead.  It does sound better than her singing about loving big butts.

Tesla said she did get to the May Fair yesterday but not for very long.  That bothered me since she could have been there for hours with me.

Today John asked if I wanted Tesla.  I of course did and we went for Chinese buffet for lunch.  Finally Tesla has begun requesting restaurants other than “Old McDonald’s Farm” for chicken nuggets, french fries and a chocolate milk.  We went home afterwards and Tesla and I did 8 pages in the scrapbook she won at the May Fair.

Time went quickly and I had to take her back…now with a catchy tune to sing over and over and over…

Summer time soon!

P.

 

Dear John~sad sad sad

Letters he nevers learn from

Dear John,

I went all the way to Windsor for Tesla’s May Fair this morning.  You knew you had to work, but still wouldn’t let me pick up Tesla insisting Heather was keeping her.

Why did you say to me, ”It’s open to the public.  You can go.”?   I only wanted to go with Tesla….

So I go, only to be told Heather isn’t taking Tesla.  I didn’t want to attend the May Fair without my child.

After 3 hours, I left.  Heather wouldn’t answer my calls or texts and you were busy working so that meant zero help as usual.  This could have ALL been arranged days ago when I asked to take her to the May Fair.  Your flexible schedule you brought up so many times in court hasn’t really panned out John.

There was NO reason I couldn’t pick Tesla up at 11AM for the May Fair, other than you and Heather didn’t want me to.  Instead, Tesla had to attend all the practices of the children you and Heather keep telling her are sisters and a brother.

SAD SAD SAD SAD

~P.

Document Design at YCP

The Doc Design class at YCP was very helpful.  Here are a few designs I did or worked on.  The Spartan poster was mine alone and I hope it goes to print for the Fall 2012 term!

Project3

amykorst

Thanks for checking them out!

~P.

Web of Secrets 2012

Everyone has secrets.  That’s a fair statement to make.

Some have more than others.  Others have some heavy weight on their shoulders as they continue to keep their secrets, secrets.

Lauren Robinson, a senior at York College created her Web of Secrets 2012 for the Senior Art Exhibit.  The room looked like a massive spider had spun a web, taking up the majority of the room in Wolf Hall.  A supply of papers with string tied to them and pencils to write your secrets down were off to the side.

Robinson’s web revealed York College Campus’s secrets.  They were difficult to read while attached to the web.  After the exhibit I asked if she was interested in selling the secrets or allowing me to copy them.  She agreed to me copying the secrets and I’ve worked hard on making the secrets easy for anyone to read.

The first time I read all the secrets, at home, alone…I cried.  Not just a few tears, but an all out bawl.  These secrets reveal so much pain on campus and yet they are anonymous so there is nothing that can be done, other than share these secrets.  There are groups on campus to join so loneliness can be replaced with new friendships.  TWLOHA and LAMBDA groups should be huge at York.  These secrets can be shocking….I hope those who need help in dealing with life go to the student counseling center in the Student Union and talk things out.

Life is precious.  Life is short.  Life is unpredictable.  Life causes secrets.  Life goes on.

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Individual Secrets

Happy Mother’s Day

Happy Mother’s Day to all the mommies out there.  If in your heart you are a mom to someone that today is your day to celebrate!

I have all three of my eggs here at home with me.  One is reading my college papers, one is sleeping and one is coloring on wooden blocks.  Any guesses to which kid is doing what?!

It’s a great day and I sure love my kidlings.  Even if one is sleeping on the living room floor…

OXOXOX,

Pattie

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