Even Government Can’t Bring Down the Amish Mafia

The countdown is on for the new season of Amish Mafia to start. I read an article in the Lancaster newspaper that talked about the election of Pennsylvania’s governor. It seems like Corbett screwed up trying to trash Amish Mafia as part of his campaign. Meanwhile, Wolf didn’t care what Levi was up to in Lancaster County and now he’s the new governor. While I’m sure there is no connection what-so-ever, it does raise my curiosity. Could Levi have some influence that caused Corbett to lose his seat or was he going to lose the governor’s race regardless?

Maybe Levi should have ran for governor

Maybe Levi should have ran for governor

Levi’s father ran Amish Aid (which supposedly was the original title of the Discovery Channel show) and now Levi handles the funds to help those Amish in need of cash to get by during difficult circumstances. Not sure what hut parties and cage fights have to do with all that but from what I’m told, Levi doesn’t get paid to do the show. Instead they bought him a Cadillac and when he wrecked that one, they bought him another. I find it real hard to believe that Levi does the show just for a car and a couple trucks for his tough men.

Now I know Esther, the self-proclaimed queen of the Amish Mafia, isn’t returning and neither is her goofy, scooter riding brother, John. I can’t say I’ll miss the two of them other than to laugh my ass off at their “acting” and off screen antics. Esther posted that she was experiencing a big change in her life. Some people commented that she was pregnant. I haven’t been able to confirm or debunk that one but I’m guessing that baby might not match up with her first two. She likes her meat dark these days. Is her relationship with Mirkat over? It wouldn’t surprise me if it wasn’t. A big change in her life might be to open her eyes and realize, once a woman beater, always a woman beater. Seriously, that was the wrong way to go about getting a make-over.

From Esther's Facebook page. What other "truths" could she be hiding?!

From Esther’s Facebook page. What other “truths” could she be hiding?!

Esther’s fans might appreciate getting reimbursed for her cookbooks and her “personally” hand-sewn goods they never received. They’ve been waiting a LONG time and are extremely displeased by the fraudulent sales. That might be a good change Esther, giving back the money you took from the people who thought you were genuinely Amish. If she were really Amish though, you wouldn’t have ever learned her name or seen her on TV to start with. She is talking about creating her own YouTube cooking channel. I can’t see her sticking to that either. So far, she hasn’t stuck to anything she starts out to accomplish. Her take-over of the Amish Mafia was certainly a FAIL.

How to cook like Esther (skip her dating tips)

How to cook like Esther (skip her dating tips)

Now the person I will miss is Freeman, if he leaves the show. Now that he spoke, I just want to hear more out of his mouth. That man is just creepy and the creepy factor grows on you. Some people have commented that they find Freeman to be sexy with this “creepy persona” on the show. I did a little research and it appears he has a girlfriend, but it’s hard to tell with these folks. They’re running amok with their pants down. How very Amish of them.

I’m expecting changes in the program for season 4. They might get really out of control and Wayne will break things without safety glasses! Just kidding, I’m actually hoping the mafia will tackle real issues in Lancaster County such as puppy mills, the sale of horses for glue, and especially, child abuse. Do I know this is going to happen? Uh, no. But, I can hope and write about it and say, “Hey Discovery Channel, make it happen!”  Maybe if the Amish Mafia was doing something positive people wouldn’t be so pissed off about the “reality” of the show.

So, I’m ALWAYS looking for information about the “Amish” folks on the show. I’d love to hear anything you know about them. Comment below, email me at pcrider@ycp.edu, find me on Facebook as Pattie Crider and message me or shoot me a text at 717-916-0586.

When I write, Discovery reads.

~P.

What the Cow Fart is going on with the Amish Mafia?

The boys are back

The boys are back

So the big question has been: Is Amish Mafia coming back for Season 4?

Well, I have the answer for you! YES! YES! YES!

There is no stopping the Amish Mafia, Tom Corbett, move out of the way (no votes for you from this girl) cause they’re back in the buggy.

And my favorite star who loves to hate on me, will she be back? I’m going with no. Esther, the money-making machine, seems to have lost steam in the bid to be Queen to Levi’s King mafia status. In fact, I think the whole Levi and Esther match up was…wait for it…fake.

In reality, back on August 16th, Esther had on her Facebook a photo of her and Imir (aka: Mirkat) that stated he was her new husband. You know who Imir is, the one who beat the crap out of her last Halloween. After that beating, she didn’t need a mask.

Mirkat's Mug(shot)

Mirkat’s Mug(shot)

Later that day the post disappeared, but not after thousands had voiced their opinions. Believe me, the opinions ranged from congrats to WTF ARE YOU DOING? I asked around to my insiders but no one seemed to know what was going on, yet didn’t seem surprised that maybe she would marry the guy that used her for a punching bag. Stranger things have happened. For example, after being sentenced to prison and ordered not to have contact with Esther, Imir calls her over 400 times from prison. Dude, move on!!!

On September 6th, Esther came out of the woodwork (or maybe the barn or after a long soak and bundling, who knows…) and posted for the first time since July 5th. Her new profile picture is far from Amish, in fact, I’m thinking more along the lines of streetwalker.

Esther wears an Ace bandage

Esther wears an Ace bandage

So two months without a peep, that’s a LONG TIME after posting on Facebook everyday, listing her handmade goods and cookbooks for the masses to purchase. Now Esther has posted she’ll be refunding the money for people’s orders. Think about it people…Esther has two kids (one is now on her Facebook page) was filming Amish Mafia Season 3, was dating Mirkat, caring for her elderly parents and farming the land. When did she have time to make handmade quilts and dresses by the hundreds to fill these orders? Can’t you see a shyster even if they’re wearing a bonnet that looks like a bra?

Esther did have a comment that the post announcing her marriage to Imir was done by a hacker. Yeah, maybe. Or it could have been to stir up interest in the Esther that is no longer ever going to have the chance to run the Amish Mafia. So sorry Esther, your 15 minutes has passed. Now your fame is about causing a 3 car accident back in June because you weren’t paying attention while driving your vehicle. Shouldn’t you be sticking to horse and buggy? I bet that accident would have never occurred!

Now I wonder what my boy Levi is up to. I’m not sure which of the two dislikes me the most. They both block me so maybe it’s something they can be mutual about the hate. Will Levi be back? Does anyone care? I’m pretty ho-hum about Levi anymore. His personal life seems more interesting since I get messages that he’s a daddy now. If that’s true, how did the Amish Mafia miss that? Is there room for a crib in his “office”?

You know what I really want? I want Freeman to take over. When that boy spoke last season, I got chills. Seriously, I been saying he could take over without saying a word, but now that I know creepy man speaks, it’s in the bag! And who should be his sidekicks? No neck Mary and Mini Man Wayne. They would be unstoppable.

Freeman, the quiet man of Amish Mafia

   Freeman, the quiet man of Amish Mafia

Mary just wants to soak and bundle

Mary just wants to soak and bundle

Freeman who says Everclear is the shit

Freeman says Everclear is the shit

So this will be my last Amish Mafia post for a little while. On Thursday, the Mafia wants to have a word with me, but I promise I’ll be back with more info about our favorite Amish misfits. I’ll be on the show dishing the dirt!! And if I suddenly disappear, start looking for my body with cement shoes in the quarry near the area where they ditched John’s buggy.

Peace, love and Amish Mafia forever!
~P.

Want more Amish Mafia blog posts: Indulge!!

https://girlboxer1970.com/2013/05/10/the-amish-mafia-conspiracy-21st-century-reality-tv/

https://girlboxer1970.com/2013/01/30/amish-mafia-heres-the-truth/

https://girlboxer1970.com/2013/02/17/levi-loses-control-amishmafia/

https://girlboxer1970.com/2013/03/07/freeman-is-the-man/

https://girlboxer1970.com/tag/amish-mafia/

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