Soooo quiet

Tesla went with her dad. It’s sooo quiet here. 😦

Her leaving went smoothly tonight. Unlike other nights.

John and/or Heather and/or kids seem compelled to accompany Tesla during the exchange. Sometimes all the way up to my car, parked at the top of the driveway. When John comes to get Tesla, I don’t even go to the door. This is much less stressful for Tesla and me. I am proud of her for sucking it up with all that goes on around her. Every time we are together Tesla drills me on why she can’t live with me. I tell her I am working on something with my lawyer to change that.

In the meantime, we must enjoy the time that we have together, not argue and practice using our patience. This part sounds very familiar, maybe because I had a similar conversation with her father years ago….so much for that speech working on the other Delauter.

Tesla told me she is remaining hopeful that she can change schools next year. Ok, she didn’t say it that way but she got the point across. I remain hopeful that a Divorce Master will finalize this divorce and the dust will settle. Only then can I really begin to plan for Tesla and my future.


Smooth, Warm and Fuzzy

Let us all rejoice!!!

Today, the drop off and pick up of Tesla went without incident!

John wasn’t home this morning when I dropped Tesla off.  He had left at 7 a.m. to work on a moving job.  Tesla hopped out of the back of the car after giving me a kiss and hug.  Yes, the BACK seat of the car.  She begrudgingly sat in the rear after I told her it was a matter of her safety.  There was no signs of Heather outside and I was thrilled.

The pickup was just as smooth.  Heather wasn’t home that I could tell.  Tesla came out and immediately wanted to sit in the front.  John started in with “you have to sit in the back” before I could even get a word out.  I sent Tesla back into the house for her book bag.  I’m not sure why I have to ASK for her book bag, but I think it’s important that I get to look at the contents as John and Heather do.

Tesla and I stopped at Rutter’s to see her brother, Jarrid.  I got my birthday hug from Jarrid and he quizzed me on how school was going.  I find that very amusing.  I ran back out to the car and grabbed the two most recent issues of The Spartan.  He was proud of me for making the front page on both editions.  It makes me warm and fuzzy inside that my son is proud of me.

Now Tesla and I are kicked back on Dale’s couch.  Contrary to Heather’s beliefs, Dale has moved in and brought all his possessions with him.  Tesla and I have comforts now that we didn’t have before, such as a washer and dryer and a couch.  I went from having a camper mattress on the floor to having a KING SIZE bed again.  Heather sleeps on my old king size bed now.  Hope she doesn’t mind all that DNA that’s been left behind, obviously not all by me.

Well, my Spanish tutor has arrived and Tesla has a play date with Amanta.





About 5

I still get anxious when the child exchange takes place.  I love having my daughter, but dread the exchange.  One would think by now I would be over that anxiousness in picking up Tesla  knowing John is on his way.

I just can’t seem to shake it though.  My shrink and I see it occurring for several reasons.  Here’s five:

1. Seeing John causes intense negative feelings.  Yes, I am angry.  What woman wouldn’t be?

2.  John can not seem to resist walking UP the driveway where I have to park, to talk to me.  Wasn’t the POINT of me parking at the top of the drive when picking up Tesla, to avoid having to speak?

3. Hearing John say ridiculous things such as: A.  Make sure you check her head for ticks.  B. Did you tell Mommy you liked Disney World?  C.  Please make sure you send her swim suit back.  (Only to have Heather give me two of her daughters old swim suits to keep two days later.  WTF does someone remotely nice want to do with my husband?  Run while you still can!!!)

4.  Being greeted at my front door by John and Heather, like I might remotely invite them in.  Just TEXT ME and let me know Tesla’s ride has arrived.  She will magically appear at the door in just a few minutes.  Me, not seeing either of you, is a good thing in my world.

5.  The less I have to SEE you, TALK to you and interact with your latest girlfriend, THE BETTER.  This keeps me happy and doesn’t cause me to laugh in either of your faces or make a sarcastic but truthful statement, as I patiently wait for this long process of custody and marital goods to be settled.

What is necessary, in my humble opinion, is to get the inevitable over with so Tesla will remember as little as possible about this whole divorce process.  Unfortunately, it’s probably to late.  I know I can remember things that happened in the past when I was about 5.




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