Opinions: everyone has them

I read something yesterday that at first really didn’t bother me that much.

I’m very involved in social media because it allows me to be social with friends and family and stay in touch.

So what bothered me, after thinking about it all day, was my third cousin’s post about being old-fashioned in the sense that he doesn’t believe in…hold on, I’ll just copy his post.

“Sorry but I’m old fashioned. I have a right to my opinions. I don’t believe there should be public breastfeeding or gay marriage. Everyone has their opinion and I respect that. Just don’t put down my opinion because you don’t agree with it. And I won’t put down yours. Simple as that”

Pattie Crider I don’t let either bother me. Has nothing to do with being old -fashioned, more open minded. I’ve been judged, I don’t judge.

Ok, my third cousin gets to have his opinion and I am more than fine with him sharing it on Facebook, but I would like to point out a few things to him.

First, you’re 19, not married, without kids, working in the family business and living at home. (I think I got that all right, not that you’ll probably read this) And you are a redneck, just as I am.

Second, when you’re not the things I just mentioned (except perhaps the family business and redneck part) you might feel differently.

Now I base this reasoning on how much I’ve changed over the years. I am much less judgmental then I was at 19. Notice I say “much less” because I’m still judgmental. Everyone is judgmental, you can’t escape it.

I never hid from my family, or anyone for that matter, that I was in a relationship with a woman for a long time. I’d say around 3 years of my life. We walked in public holding hands, did activities as a couple including going to my family events when we were “permitted” to attend. Sometimes I wasn’t invited or if I was, it was just me and I chose not to attend. Some of my family REALLY held it against me, others didn’t seem to care. Clearly I have chosen to marry a man and live as husband and wife and not have any involvement with anyone else, male or female.

So I chose men, specifically one man, to have physical relations with for the rest of my life.  Would I have married my now ex-girlfriend had it been legal? Probably. Good it wasn’t legal for me at least, because divorces aren’t cheap and I know now I was in a wrong relationship. It was wrong for me because I’m not a lesbian. If lesbians want to get married and it’s legal, feel free. Same with men. Not my business to judge them. God will do that in the long run.

Now for the breastfeeding in public, my very sweet, nice guy, third cousin; babies need to eat and sometimes it happens to be in public. Should women have their boob out, all making it dramatic, and showy? No, that’s just ridiculous. Feed the baby with a light blanket over them and all is good in the world. The baby gets warm, easy access, healthy milk and no one ever notices. Someday, if you have kids (and I hope they are not homosexual because you obviously might have an issue with that), you’ll appreciate the availability of the milk that comes free from a mother. Breastfeeding is natural and not something that should be found on a no-no list.

Just my opinion,


It’s my blog and I’ll bitch if I want to

I bought this blog site to write what’s on my mind.  Of course it’s all my thoughts and opinions.  That’s what a blog is.

Some people feel I use it to bash my future ex.  Big deal!  He loves to bash people right and left.  The minute you’re not doing him any good, he doesn’t need you anymore.

I make friends in hopes of it being a life-long relationship.  John makes friends to use them.  I spent many years with this man listening to him bash his friends behind their backs.

Not just his friends but his family, employees and anyone else he wants to bash.  John can look you in the face and tell you how great you are and two minutes later have a list of what’s wrong with you, your life, you career, your work ethics, your children, your looks, where you live…etc. etc. etc.

I should have realized this when I first met him:  When a man’s momma wants nothing to do with him (and now his grandchild because of him) that’s a telltale sign.  Those family members who do talk to him, are just using him in return.  How often did people call and want to come visit us when we were together?  Never.  In fact, people would tell me the reason they didn’t come around is because of who I married.


Interestingly the sheriff was just here.  I was served papers a few days ago by a different sheriff for the credit card accounts that have been left unpaid.  This time they were looking for someone else.  I wouldn’t have been surprised if they were serving me papers for another outstanding loan, one that is part of the marital debt.

Wells Fargo keeps sending me notices that the mortgage isn’t paid.  John has money for trips, softball, girlfriends, jewelry, clothes, new truck, and Lord knows what else that I’m not aware of.  Just no money to pay the mortgage, credit card debts and loans on the four-wheelers he insisted on buying when we were still together.  He’s even added more four-wheelers to his collection as the household has exploded in size with his current girlfriend and her children.

Am I angry?  Hell yeah.  I didn’t quit my career of 11 years with the state, sell my house and car to be treated like shit.  I gave this man everything I had in me and he took it and expected more.  He is impossible to please and will throw anyone under the bus to save his ass.

Want to comment and defend John…feel free.  The only people who have ever claimed I was the problem in the marriage were those under John’s thumb.

The only people who come to John defense (other than his overpaid lawyers) are his girlfriend, secretary and softball players.  Pretty sad.

My blog, my opinion.



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