Dear John~you suck at lying

Dear John,

By now I would think you’d realize lying to me is a waste of time.  I can see right through your bullshit, even if it’s the thickest bullshit ever.  Did you think I was going to get a big surprise when you showed up at Tesla and my doctor appointment?  I wasn’t surprised.  You’ll always be my stalker, married to you or divorced.  How do I know that?  Because you’ll never get over the fact that I don’t want you.

Did you think I would say, “Oh, sure!  Come on in with Tesla and I for our doctor appointment!” as if we are still happily married and share personal information as married couples do?  I only told you I was taking Tesla to the doctor because the custody order states I must do so.  Obviously you called the doctors to find out what time our appointments were so you could just show up.  When I said you should try notifying me when you take Tesla to the doctor, you response was, “Oh, one time I didn’t tell you.”  I lost count of how many times you whisked her off to the doctor without informing me.

I can pull out her medical records and check.  See I get informed when you take her and I’m not present.  Dr. Carl feels strongly that I should have copies of the appointments because you like to give me incorrect information.

For example, you told me you took her when she fell off the four-wheeler and Dr. C said she was fine.  That was a lie.  In fact, Carl said you never even mentioned she fell or that she had pain in her neck.     Of course you insisted he did diagnose her concerning the fall.  Dr. C gave me a print-out of Tesla’s visit as proof that you never mentioned it.

Then there was that rush appointment concerning the bruising on her arms.  You took her out of school to rush her to the doctors telling Carl I was accusing you of abusing Tesla.  Wow, that was a lie too.  I didn’t say YOU were doing it, but then again, you never had a problem grabbing a hold of me when I didn’t see things your way.

Most recently was the appointment for poison ivy.  It says right in the notes that Tesla got tangled up in the woods riding four-wheelers and caught a very nasty rash.  Before I even knew about the appointment, Tesla told me this: “Daddy says not to tell you I got poison riding in the woods because you will say I can’t ride the four-wheeler.”  Now you want Tesla to lie for you?  Wow, there’s parenting skills.  Teaching your child how to lie to her mother.

When I commented on your new truck today, I couldn’t help but wonder how the hell you can afford a new vehicle.  Our mortgage is still way behind to the tune of over $5,000.  Not that it would stop you from spending money.  You LOVE money and spending it.  It always bothered you that I wasn’t on board to blow wads of money on frivolous items.  I’ve been pretty good at making predictions since you filled for divorce almost four years ago.  I predict my future to be sunny and bright, landing a job after I complete college with flying colors and Tesla is living with me, as she has requested since day one.  I’m not seeing that for you…but keep spending that money you don’t report on your taxes.  It will catch up to you eventually.

You’ll need to pay for Tesla’s lunches once school starts again.  You get enough freebies from the state by putting me in the situation where I can’t get a divorce from your sorry ass.  What freebies?  Tesla’s doctors appointments and medications are all covered by welfare.  Remember when you had to pay out-of-pocket for all our doctor appointments and medications?  Very costly so keeping me in divorce limbo has more benefits to you than going forward with the divorce.  Once that divorce

If you can afford to have a girlfriend and her four kids in our house, you certainly can afford you own child’s lunch.  You were able to afford dragging me to court and lying to get custody.  That means you are responsible for the costs incurred from having custody of Tesla.  I could be a complete asshole and cancel all assistance Tesla gets, but that wouldn’t be fair to her.  I have her best interest in mind.  You only think of yourself and your head and I’m not talking about the one on your shoulders.

Tesla also told me for the second time that you are not letting her call me when she asks.  I never restrict her calls to you.  If anything I urge her to call you.  You should be doing the same instead of trying to make her forget she has a mother.  Heather is NOT her step-mother and her kids aren’t Tesla’s step-siblings.  At the rate you are going they never will be.  Even Heather says she doesn’t know if she would marry you.  I guess living with you is good enough….if she even still wants to do that.  Tough when you learn about the dark side of your boyfriend but you have no where else to go.

Stick to lying to Heather.  She might believe you.


Doing Nothing

This morning I had a meeting with an enforcement officer at domestics.  At 8 AM…that sucked.

I had already turned in my job search paper so it didn’t take long.  I told the officer I had sent John a text asking how much a month or week he wanted for “child support”  and the response I received was:

“It has nothing to do with what I think you owe.  It’s about doing your fair share.  Doing nothing at all certainly does not mean your share.”

The officer said, “Oh, I remember you now.  You had a case against John originally.”

I told him he was right and he said, “we get a lot of spite cases.”

At least domestics is onto his bullshit.


more than lenient

How I still feel

According to the wise one who dictates when I may see Tesla, I was informed he is  “more than lenient” with Tesla’s visits.  Does he mean lenient to me….or to Tess?  Either way, I don’t see much leniency for either.  I think John is permanently stuck in the “Prison Guard Mentality” for life.

Definition of LENIENT Adj.

1: exerting a soothing or easing influence : relieving pain or stress
2: of mild and tolerant disposition; especially: indulgent

lenient [ˈliːnɪənt]


1. showing or characterized by mercy or tolerance

Examples of LENIENT

  1. a teacher who is lenient with students who have misbehaved
  2. Many people felt that the punishment was too lenient.
  3. By giving one more person—the executive—the power to reduce (but not to increase) punishments, our constitutions (both Federal and state) seem to be sending an important message: that in a world in which errors are inevitable, it is better to err on the side of overly lenient, rather than overly harsh, punishment. —Alan M. Dershowitz, New York Times Book Review, 16 July 1989

Does John understand the meaning of lenient?

I usually get notice at the last moment on when I can see Tesla.  Then there are days when I think I will see her and he changes her schedule to suit his.  I believe a set day that Tesla and I know John will be “lenient” with on a weekly basis would be great!

The whining about my Facebook status and blog content can stop, oh wise one.  Even better, just co-operate in sharing Tesla more equally and I won’t have a reason to bitch.  Does he even get sharing?

He does understand Bitterman though.



This is what I mean!

I didn’t see Tesla at school today.  I wrote that earlier.

I guess no one read that blog yet.

Called twice to talk to Tesla before soccer.  Voicemail.

7:30 Tesla returned my call but I was outside.

I return her call and tried to talk with her.  It’s so noisy with Heather and children in the background I could barely make out what she is saying.

She asked if I can get her tomorrow.  I told her I would talk to her dad.  She said that her dad wasn’t home.  He was, because she had his phone.

I’m guessing Heather fetched him because he did eventually answer.

I asked him when his game is tomorrow.  He didn’t know.

Can I see Tesla tomorrow?  He didn’t know what his schedule is.

I asked him why it mattered what his schedule was when I only want to see Tesla.  He responded with, “Didn’t you see her at school today.”   I replied, “Wrong” making a buzzer sound and followed it with, “next?”

John thinks he knows everything.  Even if I did see Tesla today, volunteering in her class, why stop me from spending individual time her the next day?

His follow-up to the school comment….”well you saw her over the weekend.”  He says this in front of Tesla.

How is this not purposely keeping Tesla from spending time with me?

As John and Heather like to tell me, “take it to the courthouse.”

Like I don’t spend enough time in the courthouse with John and Heather.  I even have promises from Heather for a future court hearing.

How about just loosening the grip you two have on Tesla?

Your daily drama does affect Tesla….and probably all the other children in the house.

Dr. Phil….help!



Dear John~ so sorry

Letters he never learn from

Dear John,

I am SO sorry Tesla didn’t do her homework paper while she was with me this weekend.  We did practice her math, spelling, writing, cutting, pasting, and reading.  The homework was very basic.  Just X out the pictures that don’t start with J and color the ones that do.  That should take Tesla about 2 minutes.  Remind her to write her name on it as she forgets that regularly than doesn’t get credit for doing her homework.  See….non-crisis resolved, Drama King.

What I don’t get is why you feel the need to drive into the townhouses parking area through the exit to chew me a new ass over a two-minute homework paper.  Don’t you realize if you want to tear me a new ass over a homework paper that Tesla knows she needed to do, that’s fine.  Call me after you get home or email or text message me.  You can record yourself bitching at me if you would like.  That way I’ll get the full-blown message, including your scowls and arm-crossing, hand-waving and of course, that Mickey Mouse voice that pops up every time you are aggravated or excited.  Hell, record Heather rolling her eyes and shaking her head at what a failure I am at caring for Tesla this weekend.  Maybe then you two will see how stupid you look.

Your actions only make Tesla feel bad.  Why?  Because she will feel guilty for waiting to do her homework until after she went back with you.  I told her it was fine, she just had to make sure she did it and put her name on it.  We had a very busy weekend with friends and family.  I’ll blog about it eventually.  I know you don’t care, but we had the most fantastic weekend.  It went to quickly.

Here are a few things Tesla said this weekend:

“I don’t want to call my dad.”

“Dad says I can’t call you sometimes.”

“I won’t see you on Easter because Daddy said no.” (This she said on her own BEFORE I even asked you if we could split Easter and she stay overnight to Monday.”

“Dad said to Heather, “I work all day, I don’t want to have to come home and cook too.”

So maybe instead of flipping out over something that is just not worthy of the drama, focus on what your child is saying.  I know she will get her homework done.  What I don’t is how much longer she will respect you for all the drama you and Heather make.  Heather with her “don’t talk to my kids, my kids aren’t going to Tesla’s birthday party.”  What kind of attitude is that?

What I write on my blog is my opinion and I don’t voice my opinions to Tesla.  You on the other hand, actively force your opinions on Tesla by acting like an immature child and pitching a bitch fit in front of her.  Though you swear you don’t, I know you read my blog as you enjoy quoting me.  I know what I wrote, you don’t have to quote me.

Next time, just bitch to Heather.  She’s the only person who wants to hear your squeaky voice.



Delauter/Crider ~Custody Order

Here’s all 12 pages.  Free Advice Welcome!  🙂   OXOX ~P.

Dear John~ Live within your means

Dear John,

The title of this blog may need explanation.  You see, when the mortgages are up to $6,000 behind, it boggles my mind that you continue to spend money like it grew on trees.

Reality is you and Tess can’t afford to live in our house with Heather and her children.  If you could afford it I wouldn’t get notices informing me how far behind the mortgages are.  You may want to forget about me, but all those debt collectors surely don’t.

Now with all this money being owed to so many companies, banks, people, etc. I would have thought you would cut back on all the extra-curricular activities and explain to Heather (and kidlings) that there is no money for it.  You might have to find inexpensive ways to entertain your clan.  Gymnastics, dance, soccer, horse-back riding lessons, swimming lessons….all you or Heather’s ideas, are costly.  Are you afraid they won’t love you if you don’t buy or pay for material goods and fun lessons?

I haven’t had money to throw around in years and to be honest with you, neither have you!  You are the only person who doesn’t seem to understand that.  Even LaDonna advised you to stop spending money…not that you would listen LaDonna or anyone else for that matter.  You don’t even listen to your daughter when she asks you repeatedly if she can see her Mommy.

Last night and this morning I tried to talk to you about me just seeing Tesla for a couple hours tonight.  You said she was too busy doing homework and then you are all going for new soccer cleats.  Practices start on Wednesday. will the kids on the team call you Coach John?

I don’t consider watching Tesla practice anything as quality time for her and I.  I would say as her coach, John, this is quality time for you two.  What I don’t get (other than you are selfish) is why I can’t get Tesla on Tuesdays and Thursdays when you play softball.  She should be able to chose if she wants to spend time with her Mom while her Dad plays softball (and I know some games a~re late.  Remember I always went to your ball games?)

Get over yourself, you pee pee head,


Update:  John made a payment on the secound mortgage earlier in December.  John and Heather went on vacation right before Christmas.    That was the last payment until March and it’s still way behind.  Sigh.


wanting the rules changed

Even though I’m volunteering at Tesla’s school tomorrow, I’m not “allowed” to take her home right after school at 3:15PM.  John said he is “not making a habit of letting me have Tesla on Fridays.”  What the hell…he’s not making a habit of letting me see her at all!

Well, at first I was told I had to bring her right back to the house to change clothes and for me to sign a paper stating that she was permitted to leave early with me.   When I told him over the phone all that was unnecessary and that Tesla will remember all this bullshit he puts us through….

He  responded via text: Only thing she’s gonna remember is you constantly wanting the rules changed to suit you so if that’s all you gonna do then you can wait til 5 o’clock to get her at the house.

This man seriously does not see how his actions are affecting Tesla.

So far, he has ignored my responses to his text.

1. “Just let her leave with me.  There is no need for paper signing or clothes changing.  That is your hang up.  I can stop before I go in and sign your release.  Don’t let her wear clothes that you are so worried about.  Then there is no reason for me to drive her back to there and sign in front of her.

2. Do not punish Tesla by making her wait to leave at 5 PM.  There is no reason.

3. Are you sending in the note?  Yes or no?

Most likely, I won’t hear anything from him and he will make Tesla and I abide by HIS wishes.  Self-centered as always.


Dear John~Bitterman

Dear John,

You are the former love of my life.

Let’s just be honest here.  Now you are a bitter man.

It’s the only explanation I can come up with that makes sense.

Why else, when I request to see our child would you refuse?

Yesterday you said Tesla had nothing going on after school today that I could “go to watch”.  I asked then to have Tesla after school and immediately you said “We’re to busy, the other kids have lacrosse and ….”  When you were done with your lame ass answer to why Tesla couldn’t go with me I said, “I don’t care what Heather’s kids are doing, I want to see my kid.”

So this afternoon I texted you about getting Tesla and you texted back, “We have plans tonight.”

Me- You said tt didn’t have anything going on…the other kids did.”

J-“I forgot we have company coming over for dinner tonight.”

Me-Yeah…it was SO important u forgot about it.  Like Tesla would care either if she were given the opportunity to say what she wants to do tonight…anyone can see u r keeping tt from me.”

J-“and can’t you see that I make exceptions to the order all the time.”

Me-Not really.  She could spend more time with me.  It would not hurt anyone.  Not that u would agree.

J-“apparently you never read the order in which states every other weekend.”

Me- Yes..but that can be changed so she can see me more.  U can explain y she isn’t allowed to see me more.  I know why…cause u feel u must control people.  Ur selfish and bitter.

I didn’t get any response after that.  He feels the court order entitles him to limit our time together.

So John…let’s see how much time you have allowed Tesla to see me (as long as I signed a paper stating I understand this is not something that you will allow to happen regularly because you wouldn’t want a pattern forming of your child spending time with her mother.)

Adding up all the hours you have allowed me to spend with Tesla, without you present since this custody order was put in place in November comes to a grand total of: 15 hours  It’s all documented to keep me in my place.

You “allowed” Tesla and I 15 hours together, always under the condition that I return her to our house by the stated time or you will notify the police.  Really, it does feel like I pick her up from prison and return her to her warden.  John, your law enforcement career ended years ago.  You aren’t a prison guard anymore….stop treating the people in your life like they are your ward.

Still doing time,


Dear Heather~ You’re uncomfortable

Dear Heather,

Yes, I saw you at the school today.  I’m sure you saw your child talking to me.  When your children speak to me, I talk to them.  Isn’t that how “being nice to others” works?

So this afternoon, when you had to come up to my car to talk to me, I was surprised at what you had to say.   (you really want that step-mom roll don’t you?)

You don’t “feel comfortable” with me talking to your children.  I don’t seek out your children to talk to them.  When they see me at the school, gym, etc. I would think you could appreciate that I go out of my way to be nice and show your children that Tesla’s mom is not the “psycho-bitch, money spending, lazy, drug-dealing, lying, cheating whore of a mother” that my husband paints me to be.

Do you think I will pull your child aside and say negative things?  What do you think I would say?  I know my name gets bashed at the house, but that doesn’t mean I would do the same to you.

So Heather, you don’t feel comfortable?  Big fucking deal!  I don’t feel comfortable with you talking to my child.

Side tangent——> especially since I’ve learned how tragic your children’s lives have been since you became separated from your hubby.  Really, the nerve of you to insinuate I am doing something negative, hurtful or dangerous in my writing.  You raise the privacy issue, but you had no problem identifying who you are on my blogsite.  Since it’s not to hard to figure out who my husband is, it shouldn’t take a rocket scientist to realize people already know where you live.  Duh.

So as I suggested, you tell your children that they can’t talk to me.  You explain what the fuck your problem is, other than it bothers you that your children (especially your youngest) talk to me and like me.  If they talk to me, I am going to respond, because that’s what is polite.  Can’t you and John recall learning all this simple shit in kindergarten?  The children in the house have a better head on their shoulder’s than you two do.  Acting like this Heather just makes you look bad to your kids and Tesla.  I remember meeting you the week you and John hooked up….you wanted us to be friends.  Jesus, Mary and Joseph….you were priceless.

Not only am I uncomfortable with you talking to my child, I have a whole list things I am uncomfortable with, but I’ll save it for another time.

Tesla’s coat really needs laundered.  Could you use my washing machine and dryer and take care of that please?

Thanks g/f


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